Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The beer is more important than you right now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
