one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize