That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
