how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
