Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
