The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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