Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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