If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
