I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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