okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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