i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
3 2 1 whiskey
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize