I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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