Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize