he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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