is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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