It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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