your parents love me but you hate me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm too high and old for this...
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