At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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