sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
And then he peed in my hair
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