i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
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Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
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I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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