I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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