they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
