I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
