I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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