so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
