So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
40s are totally the cure
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
