would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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