I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
