At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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