we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
