Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
