thanks...oh and i got my period
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?