official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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