You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.