2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
