Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
