I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize