maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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