your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
