Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize