operation have a gay friend backfired
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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