So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
