Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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