What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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