They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
