Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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