i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
