Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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