Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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