dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
