u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
