I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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