If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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