Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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