If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
