Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
