im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
