he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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