...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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