ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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