Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
