Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
