Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?