Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket