it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
