Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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