You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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