Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
