I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
