Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
