ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
